


it sinks into your head; hell, it hurts but it's not love

by Slytherwitch



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types
Genre: Childhood Trauma, F/M, Nightmares, Non-Graphic Rape/Non-Con, Percy is a good boyfriend, Repression, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-26
Updated: 2020-03-26
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:14:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23326843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Slytherwitch/pseuds/Slytherwitch
Summary: According to the Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network (RAINN), one out of six women in Ameirca will be a victim of Sexual violence. Annabeth Chase, is another one of the statistics.
Relationships: Annabeth Chase & Percy Jackson, Annabeth Chase/Percy Jackson, Annabeth Chase/Unknown Man
Comments: 1
Kudos: 54





	it sinks into your head; hell, it hurts but it's not love

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from It's Not Love by Lontalius

_ “at the end she looks like a crime scene _

_ she scrubs, she scrubs but she can never get clean” _

_ ―Unknown _

* * *

It was a tragic moment in the life of Annabeth Chase, but even still, she wouldn’t let it stop her. She had a life plan, spanning until her death. It’s idealistic and she’ll be damned if she doesn’t achieve it.

This will not stop Annabeth Chase. 

She’ll push it down and won’t say a word. She doesn’t mourn the loss of being able to join the Hunters and she doesn’t let it ruin her life. It’s happened to tons of women throughout the ages. She’ll suck it up, wipe her eyes, and get back to work.

* * *

It’s a back alley in New York. 

She’s on her way to meet Percy, hopefully ask him out for once because she’s known that Percy is a part of her life and she wants him to ask her out, but he’s obtuse and doesn’t understand that she’s been flirting. 

It's a solid blue sundress. Blue is Percy’s favorite color. Her hair is down and curled. Her knife is strapped to her thigh and she’s wearing sandals.

It’s a beautiful day. The sun is out and she’s able to walk around without a jacket. She convinced Chiron to let her visit Percy for the afternoon.

She’s pushed into a dark alley with a gun to her head.

Annabeth should’ve known someone was following her; she should’ve fought; she should’ve screamed, yelled, said something.

What she did do was anything the man asked of her. 

He used her with the pretty blue sundress on. He said shameful words into her ears. He violated her.

Annabeth never made it to the Jackson’s place. She took a cab back to camp, leaving the underwear he ripped off her behind.

* * *

Annabeth is grateful when she learns she’s not pregnant.

She forces Michael Yew to swear on the River Styx that he wouldn’t tell a soul. She has him test her for pregnancy, for a sign that the incident, as she’s calling it, will affect her more than it has.

She sits there, waiting and waiting for what seems like an eternity before she’s given negatives. Tears of joy shed down her eyes when the results came.

Michael makes a joke about her visits to Percy, something the entire camp knows about apparently, and socks him across the face. 

This isn’t a joke.

* * *

She cries about it on occasion.

It’s moments of domesticity, of peace, of downtime. When she’s all alone and the war is far from her mind, she cries over this.

Over everything the man did to her. Over what she should’ve done. Over what happened.

Nights like this she heads to the bath house and showers until dawn. She scrubs and scrubs and scrubs. Annabeth is never clean enough. His hands and her dress are still on her shower after shower, scrub after scrub.

She still hasn’t told a soul about this. She doesn’t think she ever will.

* * *

It’s the end of the war and she’s finally with Percy.

A little over a year ago, the incident happened and she still hasn’t told anyone.

A part of her wants to hunt him down like every other monster and send him to Tartarus, making sure he pays for what he did. Another part of her wants to tell Percy, find some closure. 

She ends up repressing it. It’s been a year now and she knows no details about the incident that would help her.

* * *

It’s not until Tartarus until she gets nightmares over it once again. 

While she had permutations of the incident in her nightmares, it’s never been it as she truly remembers it. It’s always someone finding out and judging her; her being forced to have his baby; her not being believed when telling someone.

Some would call these nightmares darker than the incident, but when the incident comes, she can’t call it a memory.

Tartarus reopens the wounds she thought she’d healed.

* * *

It’s the first real step towards closure when she tells Percy.

There’s a sunrise shining over them. The stars are trying to retreat into the blankets of the colored sky. Nobody’s up but the two of them.

She blurts it out. No indication that she was going to talk about something so severe as this.

Percy holds her hand and lies beside her atop the Argo’s outdoor table. He talks to her about it, only because she wants to.

It’s a weight off Annabeth’s shoulders.

* * *

_ “Everyone heals in their own time and in their own way. The path isn't always a straight line, and you don't need to go it alone.” _

_ ― Zeke Thomas _


End file.
